The friends with benefit relationship is one
that is often met with caution and even
fear. While some people are comfortable
with the idea, others believe it isn’t even
possible to maintain such relationships. If
you find yourself trapped somewhere
between the friend-zone and being a
couple, here are some rules to follow.
1. No cuddling after s*x
Cuddling has been scientifically proven to
induce the hormone oxytocin. This hormone
is also known as the ‘love’ hormone or the
‘bonding’ hormone. It is also secreted by
pregnant women to facilitate bonding with
the unborn baby. If you do not plan to
invest feelings in a relationship, DO NOT
cuddle.
2. No extended texting
The human mind is a very complex entity
because it is prone to imagination. The
more we communicate with people, the
more likely we are to assume things that
might not necessarily be the case. For
example, we might assume someone likes us
more than they do because they will stay up
at night and chat to us.
3. No interrogatory questions
Where have you been? Who were you with?
You know these questions. In a friends with
benefits situation both parties need to stay
in their lane and respect each other’s
privacy and right to be with other people. It
is after all the difference between friends
with benefits and a dating relationship.
4. Limited physical contact
This is similar to the limiting of texting, but
it has to do with physical contact. When we
are in people’s company excessively, it is
easy to develop emotional attachment and
even dependency. This emotional
responsibility being the reason we choose
to be friends with benefit in the first place
ultimately leads to problems when it creeps up.
5. No snooping around (especially online)
No no no, worst thing you can ever do is
develop paranoia over someone you aren’t
even dating. It is bad enough when in a
relationship, but at least you have some
right to be paranoid, at least to a degree.
Respect for the other person’s privacy is
paramount. Looking at who they are liking
or commenting on online is a recipe for
disaster.
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